Tuesday, April 16, 2013

LEARN TO SAY ‘NO’


We are social animals, we tend to form groups, everyone has a group of friends where he’s comfortable and can hurl as much abuses as he is capable of. Also, no matter how much creepy the teasing gets, one has to imbibe every bit of it. Groups can’t be completed without that person who gets teased the most, the guy with the best relationship advices (but oddly he’s still single), the guy who gets virtually-raped every year at holi…
                The sort of person that I am going to talk about is the mix with shades of a sycophant and a person with a clean image. This person is not bad per se; has a decent level of self-respect, may connect with you with ease, and may be the most talented…..but one thing’s for sure; he’ll be sanguine and charming as hell in his conduct.  I am sure you all have one or two acquaintances possessing these traits. As common as this trait is, as such, it is also not tough to demarcate such qualities in a person.
                When given a task, this person takes on the responsibility with utmost sincerity even if the task is not his cup of tea. Saying ‘NO’ to something wouldn’t cost him anything, but for him, saying no is the only one thing he can’t do. He may fail the task, but renouncing the task is the last thing on his to-do list. I believe that quitting the task and honestly accepting the truth is much better than having to give explanation later. That’s why I look upon such persons with a little caution. There is no shame in relinquishing a little control.
Another scenario where presence of such individuals hurt most is when the person is at some higher position and one seeks help from him. Instead of just clearing his stand, he would give a false impression of trying to help; but instead, in reality, he’s just making you visit him over and over again. It seems as if their motto is “Promise today, equivocation tomorrow”. In India, the babus are infamously popular for such acts. Be it the kutcheris, banks or any ‘Sarkari Suvidha Kendra’, wherever you go, you are queued to be victimised. Indian governance system isn’t un-swayed by this.
                Then there are individuals who can’t deny a favour to a friend on face but try to gain sympathy of randoms by talking behind his back. C’mon yaar, Be a MAN (or Be a wise woman), I strongly suggest you to talk about why you can’t grant him the favour, or why you can’t do his work,; may be he’s a better person than you and he might understand your situation. It’s better to be strong first and say no than having to make efforts to placate the lost friendship and be off the hook later.
                I have seen some girls who don’t quite enjoy the company of certain individuals around her, but she can’t get rid of them, because she can’t have ‘the conversation’, or in simpler terms can’t say NO to them.

Thereby, I am running a collective request to such individuals to please understand what I am trying to say and think about how easier your life can be after you work on the advice. 

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